The Inevitability

I really do try to warn people when I feel like we’re getting close.  They don’t always believe me.

Don’t believe the mask you see.  I am not what I appear.  In the long run, you are going to find me too needy, too clingy, too sensitive, just generally too much.

Looks like I did it again.  Overstayed my welcome in the first place, and then attempted to get my needs met which I always do HORRIBLY wrong, and looks like I may well have blown it once more.

It’s so hard when I’ve finally allowed myself to hope that, JUST ONCE, things might be different.  And I really tried not to, because I know that hope only ever ends in despair for me, but it crept in around the corners.  You saw me at my worst (or so I thought) and handled it.  And of course, me being me, I still managed to find a way to drive you off.

This is the inevitability of my life.

(and yet people wonder why I don’t date? when things “just” with friends go this badly for me?)


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